Ultimate Random Table By, Brad Herman How to use This is an alternate table for rod of wonder and similar items such as random potions found in dungeons. (for a random potion found in a dungeon I would give a 50/50 chance that you use the table in the dungeon master’s guide instead of this one, but that’s just my opinion) All interpretation is done by the DM. Remove curse or ability score healing spells will not effect changes. After a change treat it as if the character was born that way or such conditions had already naturally existed (as if a player was born with wings or was born with 2 less str). To roll: roll 3d10, each die representing a different digit. If you roll multiple times on the table and get the same number just ignore the second instance. You get no saves against any number in the table. Saves should be for having to roll on the table to begin with. Wish and miracle spells can effect the results but have to have a spellcheck made for effects that are normally out of their power (such as 1, 1000 and 97) While most of the table has minor changes that only alter a character slightly (stat adjustment or growing an extra limb) there are a few that will kill multiple characters or end the game (see numbers 1 and 1000). If a dm wants to use the table for non epic purposes only they can state that beforehand and have characters reroll on numbers that would otherwise ruin the campaign. These are in this table because in true randomness there are chances that the game could end. All changes are permanent unless stated so This table can kill characters. Preferably other characters will have ways to bring back fallen allies. Not intended for lvl 1 pc’s You can use abilities like number 933 only once unless stated otherwise like number 856 If two numbers contradict each other go with the last rolled number (936 and 937) If a number is considered so confusing as to be unable to be implemented by the dm then reroll. Unless stated any effect does not deal damage Players know what happens unless stated otherwise 1. You become immortal, are divinely enchained in the worst part of the abyss and half o party members die and appear with you (literally half, no rounding) (it’s make new character time) 2. You get a permanent +1 attack bonus 3. You can fly 80ft perfect for the next 5 minutes 4. You lose 1d6 random limbs 5. All food (rations, beef jerky, etc) in a mile radius vanishes 6. Your strength becomes 2 7. You puke peanut butter for 3 minutes 8. You grow raven wings 60ft flight speed good unless you already have wings 9. You permanently gain half of the hit points of the closest party member (they lose the hit points) 10. Add 2 points to your charisma 11. Subtract 2 points from your charisma 12. Gain spell resistance of 25 13. For the next 4 days all you can say is “moo” 14. You burst into flame, taking 1d8 for 3 rounds 15. You gain the skill knowledge dragons with 10 ranks (or add 10 if you already have it) 16. One of your eyes explode, you take 1d6 damage 17. Change your base race randomly (if monster then change monster race randomly) 18. The next time you go to sleep you will remain asleep forever (wish negates) 19. Reroll 20. You sink up to your waist in whatever your standing on for one minute. Then the ground regains it’s previous hardness 21. Your toes fall off 22. You pass out 23. You gain +20 to strength for half a day 24. You move 3 points from one of your stats to another stat 25. Your eye color becomes purple 26. You become immune to mind effecting effects 27. You puke up your lungs and die 28. You no longer have to eat or drink 29. You no longer have to breath 30. Reroll 5 times 31. Gain permanent 50% displacement 32. Add 2 to your strength 33. Gain a random feat (no perquisites required) 34. Gain 1d8 tentacles (octopus like but don’t need to be in water) 35. Character will now be called “Guy/Girl formally known as (insert name)” instead of real name 36. You gain a tattoo of your choice 37. You take 20d12 magic damage 38. You gain a giant marmoset as a mount 39. You melt (and die) leaving a 5ft radius acid puddle dealing 4d6 acid damage to anyone in it 40. Take 1d4 magic damage 41. Reroll twice 42. Gain 1 point in str, dex, and con. Lose 1 point in int, cha, and wis 43. Gain 1 point in int, cha, and wis. Lose 1 point in str, dex, and con 44. You fall asleep 45. You get hungry and need food 46. You go bald (if applicable) 47. For some mysterious reason you can now dodge magic missiles 48. You become illiterate for 2d8 days if you are literate 49. You sneeze and noodles fly out your nose 50. You can now turn grass into candy 51. Your eyeballs become permanent flashlights (20ft light cone from your face) 52. The nearest 8 trees turn to butter. 53. All elves hate you. If you are an elf then you become suicidal 54. Anything you touch has an orgasm 55. All of your clothing, skin, hair, and equipment turns yellow 56. Gain 1 point in 3 random stats 57. Gain 5 points in a random skill 58. Nothing happens 59. Reroll 3 times 60. Reroll, If you don’t like the event you rolled then reroll once more (only once) 61. Change gender 62. Lose 50 lbs. If you weigh 100 lbs or less you die 63. Gain a free level 64. You disintegrate 65. You turn invisible. Invisibility ends next time you talk 66. Your clothing turns into a bikini 67. Your primary weapon gains +1 in addition to any current enchantment 68. Your primary weapon gains +3 in addition to any current enchantment 69. Add +2 to all of your saving throws 70. You fail all hide and move silently checks 71. You pass all listen checks 72. You gain tremor sense 50ft 73. Flip a coin. If you win the flip, gain 3 to charisma. If you lose, lose 3 to charisma. 74. Your elbow explodes. You lose the arm. 2d10 damage. 75. Reroll for one stat. 76. Gain the benefits of the first 3 lvls of monk, no penalties incurred for multiclass. 77. Gain 10 damage reduction, magic negates. 78. Your crit range expands by one 79. Random alignment change 80. Your poop glows 81. You gain permanent effects of mage hand 82. Con = 10 83. Your left eye acts as a beholder’s antimagic field eye 84. Gain + 10 to move silently 85. It starts raining 86. Your nose hair grows 3 feet 87. Your head unscrews off. You become decapitated and die 88. You get baleful polymorphed DM choice 89. You get baleful polymorphed, your choice 90. You get 100lbs of beef jerky 91. You gain another head (same alignment and characteristics as you) 92. Gain claws, also gain claw attack 93. Take 5d6 magic damage 94. Gain prehensile demon tail 95. Add +1 to every stat 96. Add +5 to every stat 97. Add +10 to every stat 98. Lose 4 points in 3 random stats 99. Lose 4 points in 3 stats of your choosing 100. You try to kill the nearest party member 101. All food now tastes like vanilla wafers 102. Your nose never stops running 103. Gain +3 to wis 104. You fall apart into 1 inch cubes and die 105. It rains 3d10 X 1000 gold 106. Gain 20ft radius no magic field around yourself 107. Your legs turn to solid gold 108. You cry uncontrollably for 4d30 minutes 109. You become narcaleptic dm chooses nappytime 110. Lose 2 lvls 111. It rains in your area for 111 days. Probably flooding occurs 112. Gain 1/day the ability to fully heal party’s hp, this takes 3 minutes 113. You can alter the temperature in your surroundings up to 40 degrees 114. You need 2 hours less of sleep 115. Add 3 points to con 116. 1d30 random monsters appear 117. Lose 3 points in con 118. Your clothing disappears and reappears on closest party member 119. Add +5 to dex 120. You get a pet rooster that obeys you completely to the best of it’s abilities 121. You sneeze 5d6 times 122. You get arthritis. You get -1 to all checks, rolls, or saves involving your hands 123. You can polymorph self 1/day 124. You gain a random breath weapon 3/day 125. You smell minty 126. You become affected as per time stop for 5 hours 127. Add 5 points to any ability 128. All food you are carrying becomes poisoned and you don’t know this 129. You become high for one day 130. You become a duck. 131. Your eyes explode. 132. 1d30 random monsters appear. 133. It rains frogs. 134. You gain a bite attack 1d10 135. You gain 1d6 leggs. 136. You gain enough experience to go up one level. 137. Legs increase one size category 138. You gain 1/week go back in time one round as a free action. 139. Reroll 1d6 times. 140. Gain 2d30 years of age. 141. You gain 3/day cast iron body on self 142. Gain 1/day instakill creature range 200ft fort negates dc23 143. You explode and reform 10d6 damage. 144. You can cast magic in an antimagic field. 145. You are sent to the 3rd lvl of hell. 146. You gain 1/day cast random spell. 147. You are turned into a plant. 148. Regardless of how much you eat, you slowly starve to death as if not eating anything. 149. You can integrate using triganomic substitution. 150. One of your eyes turns to a glass eye 151. You become double jointed. You get +3 to escapeartist and tumble checks 152. You now can speak any language but common. 153. Your eyes turn to fire when you are angered. +1 to attack and damage 154. Your arms turn to water. They maintain same shape and function. +4 to swim checks. 155. Your weapon gains one size category 156. Your weapon loses one size category 157. Your evil clone appears next to you. 158. You now have an afro 159. Your skin turns to scales. +4 natural armor bonus 160. Gain 20ft radius no psionics field around self 161. Random limbs burn off (DM choice) 162. -8 to random ability. 163. You are turned inside out 164. Gain 50 hit points permanently 165. Gain 100 hit points permanently 166. All of your stats = 11 167. Your intestines burst out and strangle you to death 168. Reroll for how many arms you have. 169. Add 6 to charisma 170. Everyone in party gains 10,000 exp 171. Your hair grows 20ft 172. Gain 1d30 eyes on your head. +2 to spot and search for each eye 173. You become an intelligent undead 174. You become a zombie 175. Grow one size category 176. You are considered a magical beast in relation to race 177. Gain an extra set of arms 178. Add 1 to every stat 179. Add 2 to every skill with points already put in it 180. Your blood deals 4d6 acid damage (you are unaffected) 181. For you gravity becomes reversed 182. Lose one feat of your choosing 183. Become impaled with platinum spear (you take 3d8 damage) 184. You shrink one size category 185. You sneeze out your brains and die 186. Gain 4/day greater teleport 187. Your limbs become possessed by demons 188. All your stats = 15 189. You turn completely blue 190. 12 virgins and 1 ho of same race and opposite gender appear to serve you 191. Nothing 192. You turn into a gelatinous cube 193. Your bone structure turns from endoskeleton to exoskeleton or visa versa 194. You regurgitate 1d8 hd worth of creatures. You take 5 damage per hd 195. Your limbs become detachable and reattachable 196. You gain a horrible odor 197. Gain 3 feats of your choosing (no perquisites required, no epic or divine) 198. You spontaneously combust and die. 199. Add +5 to ac (stacks with everything) 200. Add +7 to ac (stacks with everything) 201. You become allergic to the air and die. 202. Your pants turn into mc hammer pants 203. You no longer add your dex modifier to your reflex saves 204. Your movement is 10ft 205. Your movement is 60ft 206. When you kick a door it also acts as a knock spell 207. You go insane 208. You and closest party member switch bodies 209. You lose a random skill and all points in it 210. You gain 30 skill points to spend 211. You randomly change your class (you continue in the other class at the same lvl) 212. Add your dex modifier to your fort and will saves 213. All dragons hate you on sight 214. The money you have doubles 215. Any creature that makes physical contact with you takes 2d6 electric damage 216. Your feet are good aligned 217. Gain +7 to a random stat 218. You are violated by a pixie 219. At will you and your equipment becomes ethereal 220. You become lifeblind 221. It rains ice-cream 222. You take 222 fire damage. 22 fire damage 50ft radius dc 25 reflex for half 223. You must make a wish 1/day or explode (no exp loss) 224. All metal in your possession turns to dust 225. A major wondrous item appears in your hand 226. 1/week you can cast freedom of movement on self 227. You take double damage from melee attacks 228. You get a rash 229. You take half damage from all but bludgeoning and slashing damage 230. You take half damage from bludgeoning and slashing damage 231. Lose 7 to a random stat 232. Take 500d4 magic damage reflex half dc 55 233. Your clothing, armor, and equipment are invisible to all but you. 234. You gain a pet chinchilla 235. Lose all of your equipment 236. Gain fast healing 2 237. Gain fast healing 4 238. You turn to stone 239. Gain 3 lvls 240. Lose 10,000 exp 241. You become twice as hairy as you are now 242. Your hands turn to claws 243. Your wisdom = 22 244. Your soul is put into a gem in your hand 245. You hate ducks. 1d4 ducks appear 246. Centipedes burst out of your body and kill you 247. You float 1 inch off the ground 248. Gain 20 fire resistance 249. Divide your walking speed by 2 250. Exploding runes appear on your forehead 251. You become a true random werecreature 242. If you have a familiar it explodes 243. Change lower half of body’s race 244. You become a little kid again 245. Breasts increase 1 cup size 246. Gain 5 lvls in sorcerer class 247. You lose all your money 248. You strength = 5 249. Gain 4 to a stat 250. Double your money 251. Gain medusa gaze attack 252. You become an ice statue 253. Lose 5 in 3 stats 254. Physical contact with creatures deals 1d6 to them. You gain that damage in life. 255. Gain 30 to speed 256. Your health is reduced to 1 hp 257. Take 30 points in ability damage divided by your choosing 258. Leeches cover you. 1d4 con damage per round 259. Fireball cast on you as per 5th lvl caster 260. +6 to initiative 261. +12 to initiative 262. Your blood turns to nitro glycerin. The next time you take damage you explode. 263. Magic creatures love you 264. Your kidneys explode and you die 265. You take double damage from cold 266. Your magic equipment doubles in power (like +3 to +6) 267. All of the magic items in 30ft radius are disenchanted 268. No one can speak within 50ft of you 269. Gain 1d6 ears. +2 to listen checks for each ear 270. Your body turns to mist. You die. Your remains rain down in the area 271. Your head grows one size category and you gain +10 intelegence 272. You glow and light up a 20ft radius 273. You either lose an arm or a leg (your choice) 274. Add 2 to all your skills with points in them 275. Change the upper half of your body’s race 276. You learn 3 more languages 277. You lose your legs and gain a fish tail 278. Gain +10 to trip things 279. Reroll your stats 280. Reroll 3 times 290. All of your magic equipment explodes 291. You can phase through 50ft of material 292. Your skin flays off. 2d6 damage 293. Your natural attacks gain vorpal 294. Reroll for every ear that you have 295. Gain +5 resistance to cold, lightning, and sonic damage 296. You can get a copy of one feat from a party member 297. Your mind cannot be affected by magic 298. Your cloths shrink until they no longer exist (metal unaffected) 299. Your voice becomes high pitched. -3 to charisma 300. You can grow weapons from your bones 301. Your hair becomes spiked 302. You get a mohawk 303. You explode. 20d10 damage in 30ft radius reflex dc20 half 304. Gain +2 to hit 305. Gain +2 to damage 306. Gain +4 to hit 307. Gain +4 5o damage 308. The grim reaper appears and you have to convince him to not kill you or u die. 309. You always know where north is 310. You never know where north is 311. You can beep someones nose and heal them 1 point 312. All your magic equipment becomes disenchanted 313. The next time you roll a d20 you can choose to reroll it 314. All your equipment, armor, and weapons turn to adamantine 315. Your skin/fur/scales/whatever becomes see through 316. Reroll x times where x equals your age divided by 10 rounded down 317. You can cast any 3rd lvl spell 1/day (if you have no caster lvl it is 1) 318. Gain weapon focus short spear feat 319. Divide your base speed by 3 320. Multiply your base speed by 2 321. You shrink 3 size categories from pressure and die 322. You become blind 323. You no longer take falling damage 324. You die and become reincarnated 325. The next time you die the nearest creature to you also dies 326. Every person in existence forgets your name 327. You take 1d4 charisma damage each time you say the word “the” 328. You take 3d8 con damage 329. You grow 1ft of beard 330. You become a were creature of your choice other than yourself (no werewolf wolf) 331. You no longer need to breath 332. No one can lie in your presence 333. 333 unenchanted duplicates of your weapon appear next to you (unarmed gets severed hands) 334. Your blood is blue 335. You turn to ice, shatter, and die. 1d6 damage 5ft radius 336. Your blood turns green 337. Gain 15 skill points to spend 338. Gain 30 skill points to spend 339. A butterknife appears, slices you in half the long way, and you die 340. You and everything in a 50 ft radius of you takes 10d8 magic damage 341. You become immune to acid 342. If you would take nonmagical damage you turn ethereal for 1d4 minutes instead 343. Your hit points become max for your hd and con modifier 344. You go into a coma for 1d6 days 345. You become drunk 346. Bad thing happens DM choice 347. Good thing happens DM choice 348. You become an iron golem 349. You become a celestial 350. Until the end of the week you can cast 1 free spell (nonepic) 351. You gain 1/day time stop as per spell like ability 352. You add your wisdom modifier to your hp (like con) 353. A fork stabs you for 1d4 damage 354. You no longer add your con modifier to your hp 355. You gain a telepathic link and mind control of nearest intelligent creature 356. Gain 1d6 legs 357. Gain 1d10 arms 358. Gain 1d12 tentacles 359. Gain 1d2 tails 360. Gain 1d4 legs, 1d6 arms, 1d10 tentacles, and a tail 361. Your hp becomes the minimum (1 hp per hd) 362. You can put out fires with the power of your mind as a free action 363. You wet yourself 364. You gain permanent mage hand 365. You can polymorph yourself 1/3days 366. 3/day you can heal 11hp of all party members 367. Gain 1d4 appendages of your choice 368. Your body waste smells like roses 369. People refer to you as “the chosen” 370. One metric ton of pillows rains down in your area 371. You get a -10 penalty on skill checks with the opposite gender (bluff, persuade, ect) 372. You can planar jolt 1/day 373. Add 20 to your base speed 374. Add 40 to your base speed 375. You wink out of existence and can’t be resurrected by regular means 376. You become 3 times older 377. You say a number. You take that much damage and gain that much gold. 378. You gain a permanent otto’s irresistible dance cast on you 379. You can’t lie. 380. You turn into a balloon animal of DM choice 381. Your alignment is detected as the opposite of what it is 382. You must subtract 5 from an ability score of your choosing 383. You lose 3 points in your highest ability score 384. You gain 4 points in your highest ability score 385. You heal 1hp every time you use the word “you” in a complete and reasonable sentence 386. You can walk through solid stone 387. You don’t get drunk anymore 388. Things die more explosively in your presence 389. Gain 2 random cursed items 390. Choose a spell that can be made permanent and choose a target for it. It happens 391. You hit on the opposite gender constantly 392. Change one of your traits to the same trait of a party member (like str or size category) 393. All rabbits obey your command 394. You can eat anything of steel or less hardness 395. Gain 1exp 396. Character states an amount of gold. If it is less than 1 million they get it. The dm doesn’t tell them the last part until they choose an amount. 397. You are teleported to somewhere you wouldn’t like to be (DM choice) 398. You turn into a vampire 399. Gain large black dragon breath weapon 400. You can read any dead language 401. You become 2 dimensional and die 402. You get a loaded double barrel shotgun 403. You can add 9 to any ability score of your choosing 404. All sounds within 30ft are cancelled out (quiet zone) 405. You become half your age younger 406. Everyone within 50ft of you is sad 407. You get a ring of 1 wish 408. You get a ring of 3 wishes 409. You are reduced to 1st lvl 410. You can speak to the dead 411. You melt and die 412. 1/week you can cast true resurrection 413. Gain 1/week take an extra turn in combat 414. You can only attack once per round 415. You gain an extra attack equal to your first 416. You can not be crit 417. Everything within 120ft of you can’t fly 418. Gain 3 lvls 419. You become paralyzed for 1d20 hours 420. Reroll your hd and add your con modifier for each and take that much damage 421. Lose half your feats rounded down. Your choice 422. Gain 5 feats 423. You become a serpent race of your choice 424. You become pregnant, baby instantly ages 9 months, eats it’s way out, and you die 425. You get a +1 ac bonus when wearing pink 426. You no longer age 427. Shrink 1d4 size categories and then grow 1d4 size categories 428. Take 5d6 magic damage and nearest person rolls on this table 429. Gain 1 gold piece 430. Gain 20 points in skill ‘underwater basket weaving’ 431. You can change your class once with no penalties 432. All of nature hates you 433. You become a lich 434. You gain a random weapon 435. You and closest other creature switch bodies 436. Your skin gains a rainbow pattern in color 437. Your hair turns to grass 438. You gain darkvision 439. Gain +30 to jump checks 440. You become invisible for 3 days 441. Monsters attack you last 442. Monsters attack you first 443. You can still function fine at negative hp (still die at -10) 444. You are covered in 444 butterfly stickers. You suffer -2 penalty on checks while stickied 445. One of your arms fall off 446. Your nose falls off 447. You gain tremor sense 50ft 448. Gain +4 to hide checks 449. Gain +10 to move silently checks 450. You forget what you were doing just prior to this happening 451. You can no longer speak or talk in any way 452. You become immune to disease 453. You become immune to poison 454. You become immune to air elementals 455. You become immune to fire 456. You become immune to cold 457. You become immune to electricity 458. You become immune to sonic 459. You take double damage from elements 460. You are permanently fatigued 461. You are hit by lightning twice and take 40 electric damage for each bolt reflex half dc30 462. Your clothing becomes carnivorous and eats you. You die. 463. Lose all points in bluff skill 464. You are always warm 465. When you take damage every creature in 20ft take half of that damage rounded down 466. When you deal damage you take half that damage rounded down 467. All party members gain 1 point to every stat. You lose 1 point in every stat . 468. For every 100 gold you have you take 1 damage 469. Your weapon’s crit range doubles 470. For 12 days candy rains from the sky 471. Your reflection is always mocking you 472. You turn from an air breathing creature to a water breathing creature or visa versa 473. You can’t swim 474. You can do backflips 475. Gain +12 to escape artist checks 476. You become a random dragon 477. A random dragon appears. 478. The air around you turns a random color 479. You fuse to your weapon 480. You fuse to your armor (it becomes natural armor) 481. Reroll 3 times 482. You are perpetually on fire. Things touching you get dealt 1d8 fire damage. 483. You can breath anything 484. You are continuously impaled by butterknives for 10 days. 1d4 damage per round. 485. You bleed uncontrollably for an hour and die from blood loss 486. You have amnesia every other day starting tomorrow 487. You get a cavity 488. It rains soapy water 489. Trees scream when you are within 20ft of them 490. You take an extra 1d6 damage from good sources 491. You take an extra 1d6 damage from evil sources 492. You gain an extra arm 493. You gain an extra eye. +2 to spot and search checks 494. You gain eyes in the back of your head. You can’t be flanked and gain +4 to spot and search 495. You can fly for no apparent reason. 20ft good 496. You can spit acid. Ranged touch attack 1d6 damage acid 497. You can spin spider webbing 498. You gain a random beholder gaze attack 499. You turn into a random monster 500. Reroll 5 times and ignore one roll of your choosing. 501. You gain damage reduction 6/magic 502. You can 1/day fart as per stinking cloud (you are unaffected) 503. Your digestive track disappears and you slowly starve to death 504. 25 squirrels appear and attack you. (Squirrel = rat for stats) 505. Your clothing catches on fire (or fur) 1d6 fire damage 506. A random item appears in your hand. 507. Gain 2 to con 508. You sneeze, cough, hiccup, burp, and fart at the same time. You die from pressure problems 509. You laugh uncontrollably when you enter a building 510. Lose 4 to dex 511. When under half hp you gain +2 to ac, saves, to hit, and damage 512. When under half hp you lose 2 to ac, saves, to hit, and damage 513. When at full hp you can cast magic missiles as per 5lvl caster 500/day 514. Take 1d8 damage. If you ever are at full hp again you die 515. Spells no longer heal you 516. Resting no longer heals you 517. If you receive healing in any form it heals twice as much (no going over max hp) 518. You can be healed to twice max hp (extra gained is lost in a day) 519. For you healing is reversed (like a zombie) 520. You don’t take ability damage 521. When you take ability damage, double it 522. At will you can burst into flame as a free action. 1d6 fire damage/round 523. You deal an extra 1d8 damage melee to enemies with more hd than you 534. When under half hp you can’t be crit 535. When under half hp you deal an extra 1d6 damage w melee attacks 536. When over half hp you lose 5 to ac 537. When you take damage you heal 1d4 hp 538. When you take damage you take an extra 1d6 539. You are teleported to a random plane of existence 540. When you have double digits in your hp (like 22 or 377, not 242) you can fly good 70ft 541. Thousands of dead fish appear in a pile around you. 542. You name an amount of gold you want. That gold appears in your stomach (may kill you) Dm doesn’t tell u the second part 543. Current weapon breaks next time it’s used. Player does not know this. 544. Any roll you make involving intelligence gains +2 545. Next time you die you come back as a vampire 546. Next time you die you come back as a zombie 547. Next time you die you come back as a skeleton 548. Next time you die you come back as a creature of your choice. 549. Next time you die you explode. 10d6 damage 30ft radius 550. Next time you are resurrected you die again 551. The next time you roll a 20 it is changed to as if you rolled a 1 552. The next time you roll a 1 it is changed to as if you rolled the highest number on that die 553. You are teleported to the bottom of the ocean 554. You are teleported 5000 ft in the air upwards 555. You are teleported 555 ft underground downwards 556. Exploding runes appear on your weapon 557. Exploding runes appear on your spell book (if you have one) 558. You can breath both air and water. 559. You get a hardcore tan 560. You get an afro 561. You get rainbow colored hair. 562. You lose your hearing 563. You lose your sense of smell 564. You lose your sense of taste 565. Your stats become 1 and you get 80 points to put into them in any way you want 566. You can make as many wishes as you want, but you lose 1hd per wish 567. Gain +8 to str 568. Gain +8 to dex 569. Gain +8 to con 570. Gain +8 to int 571. Gain +8 to wis 572. Gain +8 to cha 573. Lose 3 points in every stat 574. Whatever you touch becomes bald 575. Whatever you touch becomes constipated 576. Whatever you touch gets a nosebleed 577. You must change you name to something with the letters z,x, and q 578. A random party member turns into a random dragon and tries to kill everyone 579. You become immune to physical damage 580. You become immune to magic damage 581. You become immune to magic effects (like sleep or domination) 582. Your max hp is now 1 583. You die whenever you take physical damage regardless of current hp 584. You die whenever you take magical damage regardless of current hp 585. You can only speak languages that not common or are spoken by races of party members 586. You become a mind flayer 587. You become a pixie 588. Whenever you cast a spell you can cast the same spell as a free action again if you lose 57hp 589. Your ac gains +8 instead of losing 4 when flanked 590. You can bend spoons with the power of your mind 591. You gain x-ray vision 592. Damage reduction 15/magic, piercing, animals, silver, wood, epic, neutral, and chaotic 593. You can freeze 30 gallons of water to ice 1/hour. 594. You take quadruple damage from plants 595. The duration of things that effect you last 10 times longer (like sleep spells or mage armor) 596. The duration of things that effect you are reduced to one round (like mage armor) 597. Food stays in your stomach but you still need to eat. You die in 3 days (stomach explodes) 598. When you laugh milk comes out your nose (regardless of if you were drinking milk) 599. All your clothing turns a random color 600. Your weapon turns either purple or pink, player’s choice 601. Whenever you roll a 1 on a d20 you go to -3hp 602. Whenever you roll a 2 on a d20 you go blind for 1 hour 603. Whenever you roll a 3 on a d20 you auto pass the roll if applicable (roll to hit or a save) 604. Whenever you roll a 4 on a d20 die 605. Whenever you roll a 5 on a d20 you get struck by lightning (20 electrical damage) 606. Whenever you roll a 6 on a d20 you reroll twice and take the roll you want most 607. Whenever you roll a 7 on a d20 you can choose what number you want it to be (between 1-20) 608. Whenever you roll a 8 on a d20 you lose the use of an arm for an hour 609. Whenever you roll a 9 on a d20 you pass out for 3 rounds 610. Whenever you roll a 10 on a d20 add 10 to the next die rolled (rolled by anyone) 611. Whenever you roll a 11 on a d20 you take 5 ability points of damage from a random ability 612. Whenever you roll a 12 on a d20 you heal 20 hp 613. Whenever you roll a 13 on a d20 you glow 80ft radius for an hour 614. Whenever you roll a 14 on a d20 a stinking cloud appears centered on you (15 lvl caster) 615. Whenever you roll a 15 on a d20 your pants/dress/whatever covering that area falls down 616. Whenever you roll a 16 on a d20 hands fall off. You get new ones in 2 rounds. 617. Whenever you roll a 17 on a d20 you are compelled to grope the closest person as next action 618. Whenever you roll a 18 on a d20 you gain +7 to ac for the next 20 rounds 619. Whenever you roll a 19 on a d20 you can add or subtract 5 to the next die rolled 620. Whenever you roll a 20 on a d20 you can add 20 to one of any of the next 3 dice rolled 621. When you take exactly 7 damage from something you gain 38 hp 622. When you take exactly 7 damage from something you lose 38 hp 623. You taste like candy. 624. All of your clothing and armor becomes a pretty pink dress 625. You get hiccups if someone of the opposite gender touches you. 626. When you deal damage to something you instead heal that much to it 627. Change your name to an anagram of your current name 628. Your ears become ears of an animal of your choosing. +1 to listen checks 629. When you say your own name you are torn apart by invisible hands and die. 630. You can speak any language but common 631. Your rations become alive (but given that they are just sections of stuff they die right away) 632. You become a nymph 633. You become a squirrel 634. Your weapon most commonly used gains 1d4 (each) fire, cold, electric, and sonic damage 635. You can wear up to eight magical rings (2 on each hand and foot) 636. Next roll you make gets a -234 penalty. 637. You become dressed up as per a clown 638. You slowly rot away. In 2 days you can’t move and you die in 5 days. 639. Undead target you first 640. Outsiders target you first 641. Monsters target you last 642. You can turn ethreal at will 643. You are a permanent dimensional anchor radius 60ft 644. You turn into a gelatinous version of yourself 645. You turn into platinum and die 646. You become coated in 1 inch of steel. 647. 1d4 random limbs turn to solid gold. 648. Your head turns into a random dragon’s head. Gain that breath weapon. 649. Your right arm turns into a tree branch 650. Your arms turn into a dragon’s arm 651. Your left arm turns into a rabbit’s arm 652. Your right arm turns into a scorpion’s claw arm 653. Your left arm turns into a heavy crossbow 654. Your left arm turns into short sword 655. A random arm turns into snow and melts off 656. Your legs turn into a dragons leg. +3 to climb 657. A random leg turns into a peg leg 658. Your legs turn into wagon wheels. +20 to speed 659. Your left leg turns into a rock 660. Your head turns into a pumpkin head (u r fine) 661. Your head turns into a balloon and floats away and you die 662. Your head turns inside out (u r fine) 663. Your head turns around backwards. Fort save DC 15 or die from neck snap. 10% paralized 664. Your head turns to steel (u r fine). Headbutt attack 2d6 665. Your head turns into a cat’s head 666. Everything hates you and tries to kill you on sight (even party members) 667. Your head turns into a monkey’s head 668. Your head turns into a boars head 669. Your head turns into random monster’s head 670. Your head turns into a random creature’s head 671. You gain a dragon’s tail 672. You gain a monkey’s tail 673. You gain a squirrel’s tail 674. You gain a rat’s tail 675. You can swim through solid objects 676. You can swim through the air 677. Your blood is replaced w sulfuric acid and you die 678. Gain 1d3 legs 679. Gain 1d2 arms 680. Gain 1d2 tentacles 681. Gain 1d4 tails 681. Gain 1d2 legs, 1d2 arms, 1 tentacle, and a tail 682. You head turns into a bug’s head of your choice 683. Your eyes turn into cat eyes 684. Your eyes turn into fly eyes 685. You become ugly. -6 to charisma 686. You become a random dragon of a random age 687. If you take damage you add +1 to attack and damage for 10min (stacks w itself) 688. Your tounge turns into a short arm 689. You can 1/day puke up a weapon of your choice (no enchantments) 690. Your tears can melt metal. 691. You can moonwalk over any solid or liquid surface and not be affected by the terrain 692. If you have a familiar it gains 4,000 hp. If not then reroll twice. 693. If you have a familiar switch your hp and it’s hp. If not then reroll. 694. If you have a familiar it’s stats become yours +1. If not then reroll 695. You can have books read themselves to you. 696. You become instantly dehydrated and die. 697. When in any liquid you can choose to either float really well or sink 698. You can walk on your hands as well as your feet 699. You lose a random language (may also include but not limited to common) 700. You can walk on clouds, fog, smoke, and other things like that 701. You bleed liquid gold. Hardens 2 min after leaving your body. 702. You can turn undead as if your class was cleric 703. You are shot forward 12 hours in time. 704. Your arms become see through like glass but are still regular arms 705. Your legs become see through like glass but are still regular legs 706. Your torso becomes see through like glass but is still a regular torso 707. Your head becomes see through like glass but is still a regular head. 708. Your eyes become black pits and you gain darkvision 709. You take 10 times as much damage from goblin sources 710. You explode. 12d12 damage in a 120ft radius 711. You always magically have milk, bread, and those english muffin thingies with eggs 712. You can go back in time, but for every round back you permanently lose 1/3 your max hp 713. When you hear music you lose 3 hp per round 714. When you speak everything in 30ft radius takes 16 points of damage per round 715. You can talk to party members regardless of their distance from you 716. Add 5 to any craft role you ever make. 717. Whenever you roll a 1 on a d20 you don’t auto fail 718. Whenever you roll a 2 on a d20 you glow for 8 rounds 50ft radius 719. Whenever you roll a 3 on a d20 you gain 3000 gold 720. Whenever you roll a 4 on a d20 you grow 1 size category for a day (limit 3) 721. You become a child of your race 722. You always have extra buttons. 723. You always have extra shortswords 724. Whenever you roll a 5 on a d20 54 ducks appear in the area 725. Whenever you roll a 6 on a d20 you burst into flame 2d6 fire damage plus 1d6 for 1d4 rounds 726. Whenever you roll a 7 on a d20 a random creature in 200ft (including you) takes 77 damage 727. Whenever you roll an 8 on a d20 you turn into a copy of the nearest creature for 2 min 728. Whenever you roll a 9 on a d20 reroll 729. Whenever you roll a 10 on a d20 you replace that number with the current hour military time 730. Whenever you roll an 11 on a d20 you get hiccups for 1d4 rounds. -1 on attack and skill rolls 731. Whenever you roll a 12 on a d20 your footwear dissapears into oblivion 732. Whenever you roll a 13 all o your equipment teleports 10ft to your left 733. You can’t remember anything from the last 3 days 734. You can’t remember anything from 3 days ago and later 735. Whenever you roll a 14 on a d20 you take no action for 1d4 rounds (become apathetic) 736. Whenever you roll a 15 on a d20 it becomes the number of your choice between 1 and 20 737. Whenever you roll a 16 on a d20 everything in 60ft radius loses 16 hp (also u) 738. Whenever you roll a 17 on a d 20 everything still alive regains all lost hp in 1000ft 739. Whenever you roll an 18 on a d20 reroll 3 times and take the lowest roll 740. Whenever you roll a 19 on a d20 you sneeze and take a partial action only next round 741. Whenever you roll a 20 on a d20 you don’t auto pass 742. Your torso turns into a wooden plank. Your max hp is reduced to 4/5 rounded down 743. Your torso turns into a torso of a random base race 744. A demonically possessed tricycle follows you around 745. You get a rainbow colored afro that regrows in a day if cut/altered/burned/whatever 746. You turn into a werewolf 747. You permanently lose 5 hp as if by vile damage whenever you interrupt someone talking 748. Healing magic turns your hair a random color 749. You turn into a force dragon of equivalent age 750. Whenever you enter a graveyard corpses turn into zombies that attack all living things 751. Whenever you enter a church it bursts into flame 752. Your right index finger turns black and whenever it touches water it becomes stagnant 753. Whenever you enter a tavern all the alcohol in the building turns to chocholate milk 754. You can turn water into honeymead 755. You can 1/week break one law of physics for 1 round (like ignore gravity or something) 756. You can 1/week copy any ability of any party member for 1 round 757. You may remove one trait gained from this chart or ignore the next roll. Roll again. 758. The air in any room you are in smells like bacon 759.You die 760. You are killed by an acid cloud that rains on only you 761. A shortsword appears in your empty hand or next to you whenever you take damage 762. The next time you lvl up you must multiclass to bard unless ur already a bard 763. Your right arm turns into a tree branch 764. You can see double your normal sight range, but you are blind to everything you usually see 765. You can damage yourself 1hp as a free action without doing anything 766. Whenever you make a roll and the end number is 30 choose a party member to take 30damage 767. You can 1/day as a free action switch your weapon with an opponents weapon if they have one 768. If you say something while not yelling you take 10 damage 769. Pick a party member. You can no longer hear or see that person anymore. 770. Pick a party member. You are the only person who can see or hear that person anymore 771. Pick a party member. That person takes 55 damage 772. Whenever you are naked, floating illusionary censor bars appear to cover indecent areas 773. When you are at full hp you gain +5 to all skill checks 774. You lose 10 points in spot, search, and listen skills. You can’t have negative skill points 775. Any small animal within 100ft will try to hump your leg regardless of gender 776. All of your bones disappear. You die. 777. Your hp becomes 777. 778. Pick a party member. Have one of their ability scores lose 7 points (your choice) 779. Pick a party member. Have one of their ability scores gain 7 points (your choice) 780. Lose 1d6 levels and gain 1d6 levels 781. You can now speak 4 more languages 782. Reroll for what hour of the day it is divided by 2 (12hour clock system) 783. People believe that you are a really distant relative of theirs 784. Your gonads explode. 20 damage radius 10ft. DC 20 reflex half. Target gets no save 785. You puke out your internal organs. You die. 786. You gain all knowledge in existence. Your head explodes and you die. 787. You try to kill the nearest party member and can’t stop yourself regardless o feelings 788. Your stomach turns into a gelatinous cube and you are torn apart, eaten, and die 789. For you, the air becomes acidic and dissolves you. 20 damage per round. 790. Whenever you roll initiative your pants/shorts/dress/whatever falls down 791. You can not hold anything in your hands for more than 3 rounds 792. Your hair turns into either leaves or grass, your choice 793. You turn invisible when screaming “I’m invisible” 794. You die and come back as a ghost 795. When in 50ft of you, creatures take a -7 penalty to intelligence. 796. You bleed maggots and blood. After you take a total of 200 damage you go insane and die 797. You become a goblin 798. You have a heart attack and die 799. Reroll once if you want to 800. You gain one epic item (dm choice) 801. You gain one epic item of your choosing up to +8. You then die an hour later 802. When an orange button on your back is pressed you deal 1d6 damage to thing in front of you. 803. You are surrounded by a perpetual purple haze. You gain 10% chance to be missed 804. The next town you plan on going to is hit by a meteor and annihilated 805. Your head explodes and you die. If anyone touches a remaining body part it explodes 5damage 806. You can make an infinite amount of exploding runes, caster lvl 10. takes 1 standard action to make one 807. Gain 1d20 lvls and then lose 1d20 lvls 808. Gain 1d2 lvls and then lose 1d2 lvls 809. When you go under -1hp you regain consciousness and gain 10 lvls for 10 rounds 810. When not at full hp you lose 3hp per round 811. When under 5 hp you gain 6hp per round 812. When you say “hotness beam” the nearest person gains +1 to cha for 5 rounds 813. You randomly change alignment daily 814. You must insult one party member and not appologize 1/day or take 50damage 815. You gain an extra 1000 to your max hp for one month 816. Take half your max hp in damage rounded up 817. You take 100 damage 818. A gelatinous cube appears around you. You are automatically eaten. You die. 819. You die. In one month you are fully resurrected. 820. You get +5 to hide, move silently, and bluff checks when wearing a cheesy fake mustache 821. Your neck extends 2 feet (think giraffe) 822. You are no longer able to sleep. If you need sleep then you permanently lose 5hp per day 823. You fall in love with and hit on the next humanoid you see of opposite gender 824. You get a headache. It gets worse and in 3 days your head explodes. 825. All spells party members have the ability to cast are cast upon you. Party members unaffected 826. 1d6 random ancient dragons appear 827. Everyone’s intelligence in 100 miles becomes 2 for the next 2 days except for you. 828. You turn into and inteligent golem version of yourself. You retain class lvls within reason 829. Your eyes perpetually hurt. Gain 50% autofail chance for all spot checks from squinting 830. Whenever you are in a city you become perpetually constipated. -2 on all rolls 831. A hole in existence opens inside your chest cavity. You die and your corpse gets sucked in 832. Choose a party member. All other party members die (including you) 833. You get 10 xp whenever you add the word poopmonkey to your sentence in context 834. Your nearest opponent takes 5 damage (nothing negates) when you say videovoodo in a sentence in context 835. Your blood disappears and you die 836. You can now breath lava, but you gain no special fire resistance 837. No nonepic piece of metal can harm you. (As in stabbed w knife or crushed by anvil) 838. You gain a gorgon’s gaze attack 839. Your search, spot, and listen checks become 2 840. You will autopass any class skill, but if you use the same skill twice you will die 841. If you say a name (such as Brad or Kenji Kusoragi) you will die. Words like dude and you don’t count 842. Any gold you touch turns to granite 843. You can choose to autopass a roll. The dm later chooses a roll that you autofail. You can do this as many times as you want, but the dm gets an equivilant amount of autofails. You cannot autopass a roll the dm chooses. 844. The next partymember who dies instantly comes back as a vampire (including you) 845. Choose a number. You reroll that many times 846. All magic stops existing for 2 weeks 847. You must repeat saying “the ants in my pants make me dance dance dance” for 3 minutes or explode and die 848. You become mute 849. You become deaf 850. You become blind 851. You become unable to smell anything ever 852. You always have a smoking pipe 853. Anyone wearing your current equipment die. This includes you. Fort DC 53 854. You sneeze up a random internal organ. Depending on the organ, you die in an according amount of time not including internal bleeding. (Heart=instant, stomach=few days) 855. Your face becomes hidden in facial hair regardless of gender. 856. You can gain any number of hitpoints back up to your max health. The DM later makes you lose that number of hitpoints. You can not gain hp in response to the DM. You can use this multiple times 857. Everything you touch turns to gravy except for yourself (player choice of turkey or beef) If used against an unwilling creature fort save DC 32 858. You must choose points to lose in ability scores totaling 6 859. You gain 6 points to put into ability scores of your choosing 860. You become nailed to the sky as per the epic spell 861. You stab yourself with your weapon in the face and kill yourself. Only if you have a bladed weapon 862. If you were to take damage, you can have a party member take that damage instead 863. You auto hit when you roll a 10. This only counts towards hitting 864. You auto hit when you roll a 2. This only counts towards hitting 865. As long as you have party members alive then all lethal damage is turned to nonlethal damage 866. You die unless you choose 2 party members to take your place. 867. Something epic appears of the DM’s choice. 868. You gain 50 damage reduction and metal negates. Damage from metal now deals double damage to you. 869. You are set on fire permanently. 1d4 fire damage per turn forever. +2 to ac and grapple checks 870. You can 1/day cast cure critical wounds as per 15lvl if you sing a kids song each time 871. You can turn gold into lead 872. You can turn lead into candy 873. You can turn candy into hydrogen 874. Your neck extends and you bite out your own throat. You die 875. You completely dehydrate and die. 876. You become infused with pure evil. Change alignment to neutral evil. You now try to either use the party to kill everything or just kill your party members. 877. You become infused with pure anti-evil. Change alignment to neutral good. You now either try to save/help all living things. If the party is evil you try to kill them (either by plan or just attack). 878. You gain a permanent spiderwalk ability as per the spell 879. You can detect any poison in 50ft 880. You know if someone is watching you. 881. You gain a permanent death ward as per the spell 882. You can ethereal jaunt 3/day for 10 rounds 883. You auto fail any save against death or negative energy magic 884. You get the claws, ears, and tail of your choice of cat, fox, or rabbit 885. A random arm becomes 1 foot longer 886. You grow spikes like a porcupine. You gain a slam attack of a creature you size 887. You can 2/day shoot a ray out of you nose as a ranged touch attack 100ft that gives the target +3 charisma for 8 rounds 888. If you were to get any gold, double that amount of gold. This only works for gold found from monsters and dungeons, not shopkeepers. 889. All party members except for you get +2 to str 890. All party members except for you get +2 to dex 891. All party members except for you get +2 to con 892. All party members except for you get +2 to int 893. All party members except for you get +2 to wis 894. All party members except for you get +4 to cha 895. All party members except for you take 20 damage 896. All party members except for you lose 2 to str 897. All party members except for you lose 2 to dex 898. All party members except for you lose 2 to con 899. All party members except for you lose 2 to int 900. You and a party member of your choice take 900 damage 901. All party members except for you lose 2 to wis 902. All party members except for you lose 2 to cha 903. You get +20 to move silently if you jump around and wave your arms 904. All party members except for you take 20 damage 905. All party members except for you roll once on this table 906. Each day you have to kill a party member or die yourself starting tomorrow 907. You lose 1 hp every minute. Nothing can prevent this. 908. Your nose grows out 1 foot 909. When you sneeze you also sneeze out your teeth. They grow back in 2 rounds. You can sneeze at will 910. The next 10 rolls of a die you make are automatically 1’s. starts after you finish rolling for this table 911. The next 10 rolls of a die you make are automatically max for that die. starts after you finish rolling for this table 912. You take 30 magic damage next round and each fallowing round for 10 rounds 913. When you touch something’s nose and say “beep” the creature is cured of any disease, has curses removed, and regains lost limbs 914. When you stab a party member the member and you are cured of poison 915. Your nails and hair glow in the dark. 5ft light radius 916. Your feet turn to lead. Base speed is reduced by 10 917. All healing magic in the world reverses for 2 weeks and instead harms 918. For the next 2 weeks all negative energy magic has the opposite effect. A creature can only increase in lvl due to the magic once only. Same for hp or ability score gain 919. You can no longer heal in any way. If a spell would heal you it damages you that amount instead. Resting does nothing. 920. If an effect or spell would heal you it heals 3 times that amount. Resting heals 3 times as fast. If you have fast healing it is also increased 3 times 921. If you would be healed in any way it only heals half that amount rounded up. 922. It rains continuously for a week 923. You dissolve when submersed in water or saltwater. 924. You have a permanent bloody nose. This has no health effects. Vampires and the like gain +4 moral bonus against you 925. Your skeleton tears itself out of you and you die. Your skeleton becomes animated and attacks the party 926. You turn into a tiger 927. All paper and wood products (including live trees) in a 100 mile radius burst into flame. 928. All metal in 50ft of you now is affected as if it were attacked by a rust monsters breath weapon. 929. All cows in the world become carnivorous and should be treated as tigers 930. A random leg turns to water. 2d8 damage from bleeding and loss of limb 931. A random arm turns to water. 2d8 damage from bleeding and loss of limb 932. Your head turns to water and you die 933. You can move up to 6 points from one ability score to another 934. You get an extra 100,000 xp that does not count toward lvls to be used for spells 935. You wet yourself any time you roll initiative 936. You gain divine initiative (always go first) 937. You always go last for initiative 938. You grow teeth made of adamantine that can bite through anything of hardness less than adamantine and gain bite attack 939. Whenever you drink a liquid an equal amount squirts out of each of your ears. 940. When you are not at full hp any player trying to talk to you only laughs uncontrollably 941. You bleed maple syrup 942. You leave purple handprints on whatever you touch 943. If you have parents they are killed. Dm decides death. Otherwise reroll. 944. All equipment of yours that is flammable bursts into flame. Clothing deals 1d8 fire damage 945. The nearest monster (even a owlbear 54 miles away) takes 100 damage. 946. You gain the natural armor bonus and skin type of the next monster you kill. 947. You become the species of the next creature you kill. Non monster creatures don’t count (like stepping on a regular ant… unless the ant has 20hd and is huge) 948. Your eyes become removable. A word you choose teleports them back to your sockets. 949. You gain all spell like abilities of the next monster you kill 950. d20 monkeys appear, touch themselves inappropriately, then disappear after 5 minutes. 951. Your weapon screams really loudly when enemies that would attack you on sight are within 100ft of you 952. you gain freckles. If you had freckles double the amount previously had. Also doubles spots if you had them too 953. going to negative 9 hp does not render you unconscious. If you go under negative 10hp you can still act for 4 rounds then you die. 954. The next time you deal damage to something it instead takes 954 damage 955. City guards mistake you for an infamous murderer the next time you enter a town 956. You become a centaur of the creature type u currently are (add horse from waste down) 957. You gain a split personality and your character changes personality each day 958. You gain a doublejump ability. You effectively double your jumping height and range, but can change direction halfway through. 959. You turn into a cactus 960. One of your eyes becomes noticeably larger than the other. 961. You become a raccoon, gain +13 to sleight of hand, and can cast illusion spells as 5th lvl caster (only up to lvl 2 spells) 962. You must say the word ‘shperlorgen’ at the end of every sentence or take 5 damage 963. You always know where your equipment is, where party members are, and where the nearest town is 964. Your skin becomes chameleon skin. +5 to hide 965. You gain monkey grip that applies for weapons 2 size categories larger than normal 966. Any attack you make is considered magical and can effect incorporeal creatures 967. Commoners burst into flame when they are within 50ft of you 968. You look identical to the nearest party member. 969. You become younger to the point where you are a kid of your race 970. You can cast cantrips as a lvl 1 caster 6/day 971. 1d8 balrogs appear. 972. You can summon any elemental of size huge or smaller 1/day 973. You can make things burst into flame. You can concentrate on something and deal 2d6 fire damage to it per round reflex dc 27 for half damage 974. You unarmed attacks deal an extra 1d6 fire damage 975. You unarmed attacks deal an extra 1d6 cold damage 976. You unarmed attacks deal an extra 1d6 electric damage 977. You unarmed attacks deal an extra 1d6 sonic damage 978. You unarmed attacks deal an extra 1d6 vile damage 979. You are teleported into a castle made entirely of gelatinous cubes. 980. You unarmed attacks deal an extra 1d6 acid damage 981. 981 copies of your armor (unenchanted) appear next to you in a giant mound. If you are not wearing armor then 981 copies of your skin appear there instead. 982. You can polymorph at will as a standard action into any animal or nonmagical monster you have come in contact with. 983. You grow goat horns out of your head and gain a headbutt attack 984. You gain a mount of your choice of a challenge rating of less than your lvl 985. undead get a -4 penalty when trying to either detect or attack you 986. you become nauseated for 2 days. 987. The next time you take damage you instantly heal 30hp 988. wherever you walk you leave footprints of blood 989. you get a carriage of the damned pulled by 4 nightmares that can travel the world in a night. It can’t move during daylight and vanishes if unattended. 990. Your appendix explodes and you die 991. A spectral hand appears and reaches inside of you. It keeps tearing out internal organs until you have none left. You die. 992. To you, harmless forest animals like bunnies seem to be horrible monsters 993. You can 1/day heal yourself 1 hp as a free action 994. If you go below 0 hp you automatically stop bleeding 995. If you go below 0 hp a random party member also is reduced to your current hp 996. If you go below 0 hp a random enemy also is reduced to you current hp if on is there 997. You become stoned and take -8 on all rolls and checks for 12 hours 998. You become dazed for 4 days 999. Reroll 999 times or until you die. If you die you are resurrected with all changes intact. If you get a duration that could kill you then wait to reroll untill the duration is up (such as 847) unless it takes longer than an hour 1000. You become a demi deity with 20 divine ranks If you want to use this as an actual spell then it would be as follows Braditorious’s Chaos Infliction universal Sorcerer/wizard lvl 7 1 standard action to cast touch components v,s,m saving throw: fort negates When cast a creature rolls on the table unless it makes it’s fort save. Material component: Something from a different plane or space (demon bones or starmetal or such) This table was written by Brad Herman (braditor@hotmail.com). The table was made for DnD campaigns but has no affiliation with the Dungeons and Dragons game (not an official table). Feel free to copy this table and use it in your campaigns as you see fit. It can also be used in other rpgs that are similar if you really wanna try it. If you have questions, comments, or think any part of the table should have a better explanation (such as the area number 922 would cover) email me at braditor@hotmail.com . I must admit the first few hundred I tried to make short (each one being less than one line long) but had to expand a few for the sake of clarity and stopping the hour long dnd rule arguments about what I meant by each entry (though those will still probably happen, they are unavoidable). And now to plug the comic I write for http://zoology101.comicgenesis.com/ which is also the original site I posted this table on. Brief history of the table: I’ve been working on and off on this table for about 3 years (mostly off). I started it partly because no dnd book had a huge table and that I wanted to kinda one up my current dm who had a habit of making up tables on the spot for certain things. College really hampered my time to work on the table. Since I had to think of stuff and tried to balance out the good, bad, and fun entries it’s not really random in the sense that it’s formed from unpredictability. I just didn’t feel like doing 10k different things and randomly picking a tenth of that. After about 300 ideas were hard to churn out. It was waaaaaaay too easy to accidentally repeat myself. I did send this table to friends to check if I repeated anything. I was going for 1k unique things so if two entries are very similar then please email me about those. Oh yea, since most of the time I worked on this table was at 2-3 am it technically WAS FORGED IN DARKNESS…. For those who want their table to be a lil bit eviler than normal. That and my place has poor lighting in general. This one time I rolled a d20 ten times in a row. 6 of the rolls were 1. Everyone loves me as a dm. I really like the ones that help some characters and screw over others. Like the antimagic field. Awesome for warrior and turns a wizard to complete uselessness. It might be fun to have everyone roll on this table before a campaign to add some interestingness to their characters, rerolling for all the epic or game ending ones. Disclaimer: Do not use ultimate random table if you are nursing or pregnant, have liver or kidney problems, or have a history of heart problems. If itching or redness appears due to using ultimate random table discontinue use and consult a doctor immediately. Ultimate random table is not intended for people under the age of 3. Goblins and other 1 hp creatures should not use ultimate random table.